Sigh....this is harder than I thought.

Alright.  So I failed writing every day.  But I did not fail in keeping to my plan...well, almost.  Yesterday, after nearly 6 months of Aunt Flow being gone, she stopped by for a visit.  And the rest is history.  I have never craved chocolate and salt like this.  I was fine most of the day in bringing my healthy snacks to work, but once I got home all bets were off.  Oh, and I did have 2 miniature York Peppermint Patties, my favorites.  I had half a bar of a dark chocolate and almond bar and about 2 cups of hazelnut chocolate gelato. I also consumed a ton of pumpkin seeds, ergo the salt.  Ironically, I appear to have lost weight.  My pants feel every so slightly looser and I really 'felt' a tad thinner.  My ex even commented that I looked as if I had lost weight. I then of course, had to get back on the wagon, which I did, until I stopped at In'N'Out for my son.  I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with onion.  It actually had a lot of lettuce, tomato and onion so I had my veggies.  And I think there was only 1 piece of cheese.  I did not detect any mayo or sauce either.  So aside from the bun I don't think it was a terrible thing to have eaten.  I also got a chocolate shake, but I only had 5 sips.  

I have to say I do feel a whole lot better inside.  I've been eating oatmeal and raisins for breakfast with black coffee and several pieces of fruit throughout the day as a snack.  I had 2 tofu burgers and a half cup of brown rice for lunch and I'm trying to drink plenty of water.  I had my first diet coke in almost 2 weeks and it really didn't taste as good as I remember.  Could it be I'm getting used to this healthy eating thing?  I also don't feel as famished all the time.  That was always my big problem.  With food always on my mind, I always felt starved.  Now since I'm keeping healthy snacks within reach, I just grab something when I feel like it.  It keeps me in control of what I'm eating and how much.  

The bottom line is this.  I deviated a bit, but I'm not chastising myself for it like I would have in the past.  What's done is done.  It's not a diet.  I'm eating in moderation and I'm convinced that over time I will lose weight.  Not feeling guilty about cheating is huge.  In the past, if I ate something I shouldn't have I would torture myself with guilt.  Instead of just accepting I had eaten 5 oreo cookies and move on, I would go completely off the deep end and ravage the pantry and freezer. I figured I'd already blown it so why not blow it completely?  Tomorrow was another day, right?  But that was the problem.  The next day and a new start ever came.  One day out of control and I was done.  It would take me days if not weeks to recover.  With this plan there is no guilt.  Nothing to restart.  And so far it seems wonderful. 

We'll see how this weekend goes.  Until then, here's food for thought.